Review: The Quiet Man
- Platforms: PlayStation 4, Microsoft Windows (Reviewed)
- Developers: Square Enix, Human Head Studios
- Publisher: Square Enix
- Release Date: November 1st, 2018
The Quiet Man is described as an “immersive story driven cinematic action experience seamlessly blending high-production live action, realistic CG and pulse-pounding action gameplay”. A more accurate description for this title is a straight-to-DVD action film that is played on mute, with the clunky, awkward combat of a beat em’ up from the Playstation 2 era. While it does earn some points for taking a risk and trying something experimental, the execution is done so poorly that The Quiet Man is easily in the leading contender for the worst game of 2018.
The Quiet Man is a story about loss, love, and revenge; at least that’s what you are meant to decipher from this scattered silent film experience. The game centers around a young deaf man named Dane, who is out to avenge the death of his Mother the only way he knows how: by beating the living crap out of every thug in the city. There is very little in the way of setting up the story, apart from the occasional flashback. The game is experienced from Dane’s point of view, so all sounds are muffled and inaudible. This unique game mechanic works fine for the in-game sequences, but it completely hinders the story its trying to tell, especially since there a virtually zero subtitles.
The Quiet Man‘s major cinematic sequences are full motion video, with the minor cutscenes being more of a standard animation. As previously mentioned above, both of these types of scenes feature no sound, and also quite hilariously, no subtitles. The game will force you to watch five to ten minute scenes where characters are having full conversations, heated arguments, and romantic moments, and expect you to know what the hell is going on. Have you ever tried watching an entire movie on mute? Because that is exactly what The Quiet Man expects you to do.
Once these long, silent scenes are finished you’ll get a chance to experience the combat, which is extremely clumsy. The combat style is that of a 3D beat em’ up, with a very simple gameplay loop. Dane will walk into an alley way, apartment building, or subway station where thugs will proceed to try and jump him. Once those thugs are cleared out, a short cinematic will play that will take Dane into a new room and you’ll repeat that process over and over again. There’s the occasional “boss fight” thrown in, but the enemy AI is so atrocious that they put up very little fight.
You’re left on your own to figure out the controls, as there is no tutorial or UI to give you any hints. The combat is pretty basic, with three buttons for kicking and punching, and one button for a dodge, which can only can be used to dodge backwards. Enemies can easily be combo’d into a corner and beaten to a pulp, without ever getting a chance to recover. Even when they’re knocked to the ground, the enemies will immediately be brought back to their feet once you begin another combo, making the game stupidly simple.
To give the game some credit, there are some things that The Quiet Man actually gets right, the seamless transitioning from live action to animation being one of them. The game’s locations and character models are also well designed, although they are recycled quite often throughout the game, with locations being used multiple times and forcing you to fight the same five or six enemy models over and over again. The finishing move animations are also excellent, when the game breaks down to slow motion and you can see the blood spray out of the enemy’s mouth as you land crushing blows.
For a three hours worth of “gameplay” that will run you $15, you shouldn’t really expect much going into The Quiet Man. No matter how low you set the bar going into this game, it will likely blow you away and having you laughing to tears. There may come a time, possibly five or ten years down the road, where The Quiet Man will be looked at in the same vein as The Room and Samurai Cop, films that became cult classics for being so bad that they’re good. For now however, The Quiet Man should be avoided at all costs, unless you find value in cheesy, clunky, and nonsensical experiences.
